The fluffy snowflakes that fell recently here in Fairfield Glade made me feel like a kid again. People probably looked at me as if I had been hit with a huge snowball in the temple as I skipped about outside The Vista offices.
I looked like Mary Tyler Moore without the hat to throw joyously into the air.
Yes, I had gone crazy alright! …. Crazy in love for winter!
I mean, I used to hate winter. Actually, all my life — despised it. Loathed it.
But finally, it came to me — if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So all these people who love the snow and the cold and sledding and skating — you know, the ones I used to call crazy — I realized were crazy like a fox.
All their dreamy-eyed talk all these years — what a wonderful survival tool they were employing!
I mean, now I know what they were doing as they spoke excitedly of the beautiful picturesque trees after a snowfall …the lovely white carpeting on the ground … yes, they were creating a mindset for themselves. They were convincing themselves so that they could hold on a little longer until spring.
How perfectly ingenious! Brilliant, I tell you!
Coming to this realization made me shake my head in shame. What was I thinking? All these years wasted.
All the years of complaining that I couldn’t feel my toes …
All those years of telling neighborhood friends I didn’t want to sled or skate because I didn’t want to risk an injury because of playing basketball.
All those years when school was cancelled, the classes missed, the knowledge lost.
Awwww … who am I kidding?
I hate winter! And this winter is probably in the top 10 of my all-time least favorite winters!
I tried to brainwash myself into thinking it’s beautiful and wonderful and all that crapola — but I can’t play along. I am counting the days until spring.
Hey, forgive me for wanting to be able to feel all my limbs and for wanting the stuff inside my nose to stay inside my nose — but also not to freeze up.
Forgive me for hating the fact that it is dark around 5 P.M. and getting up in the morning in the winter is 100 times harder than waking up in the summer.
Everyone looks like death warmed over with pale faces and baggy eyes, passing germs back and forth as if it is an Olympic event.
I’m sorry, but scraping ice and snow off my vehicle is something I want to do nearly as much as having a colonoscopy.
You are now confined to living rooms, the insides of cafes and restaurants, and other stuffy spaces that are inhabited by other people who are as grumpy and depressed as you are. Why? Because THEY HATE WINTER, TOO!
Who’s with me? Let’s see a show of hands. Oh dear, you can’t raise your arm because they are encumbered by 16 layers of clothing and you still can’t feel them.
The next person who tells me that winter is their favorite season may be putting harm’s way. I will chase them onto Peavine Rd. with a snow shovel until they are rammed by a oncoming salt truck.
And all of us would do well to remember this: When it is in the 80s, we are sweating and we get burned as we enter our vehicles, harken back to this winter of 2014. Don’t you dare complain. Because the winter of 2015 will be here all too soon enough!