COMMENTARY

By Jim Arber

For The Vista

When folks walk, sometimes their mind wanders as well.  Mine wanders anyway … just worse when I walk.

We had just started walking the back nine at Dorchester. A maintenance pickup truck cruised by.  At the time, my wandering mind wondered how long it would take to drive the entire back nine in a golf cart.  Then, it wondered, do those maintenance guys ever time themselves?  Surely not, but then the mind kindawoke up.

How bout if one morning a week those maintenance guys throw in $5 bucks or so before they make the circuit.  Time them and record their time.  At the end of the year the guy with the fastest times gets all the bread. How fun would that be?

Then I thought,  Bingo! t

They could have a special event at the end of the year that would count for double.  That would make that final day even more exciting because they would be duken it out for all those big Shekels.

Then I thought, why not sell tickets and let spectators in to watch, maybe close the course for the morning.  Wow! how cool would it be sitting on the 13th tee watching them boys trying to negotiate that hill on a slippery cart path.

Probably need to have lots of insurance in case somebody did worse than break their neck.

But the mind is relentless and did not stop there … Thought that the Golf Channel could be invited to televise the whole nutty affair.  Maybe have Stevie Williams (caddie, race driver)  the honorary starter.

What the heck we could put up a beer tent, have bloody Mary’s for the drivers.  The possibilities are endless.

Of course, it would be a rain, shine or ice event.  I can’t imagine how fun it would be trying to get a golf cart down those steep trails with a little ice on them.  Sure would separate the men from the boys.

Of course to appease the course management guys there would be appropriate time penalties if someone sailed off the path.

Have not presented this to Steve Craft, the Glade’s Director of Golf, as yet but I bet he’ll just love to get started on it.  Imagine, right here in Fairfield Glade, the world’s first Cart Path Grand Prix.  Why we could maybe get the Metlife Blimp.

Hey, even the Wyndham folks would get behind this. What a marketing tool it would be. We’d have more nut cases here that day than ever. Nut cases do spend money at wonderful events like these.  I’ll bet Stonehenge and Fireside would do a land office business.

Maybe not!

Jim Arber is a freelance writer and leisure professional that lives in Cumberland County.  He can be reached at [email protected]

P.S.  — A mind in motion tends to stay in motion.  That’s true, so even though I was done with this business the brain was not.  It went on and on to things like qualifying races, invitations to other golf courses, awards banquet.  STOP ALREADY!!!